yippeee!

found my book out in the garage this morning!! must have left it out there on the shelf when i was waiting to get the girl off the bus!! she was sick and so i rushed her indoors and totally forgot. glad i found it, not that i've had time to read today. between the doc and the pampering and the valentines and the homework and the dinner...yeah, right, read? what IS that!!

i miss summer! i could read in summer! i could sleep in summer!! okay, yeah, it was HOT and we were always covered in sunscreen, but at least we could go outside and sit, go to the park, the playground, for a walk!

totally over this winter lark!!
done it!!

38 days till spring...or at least till something that resembles spring returns! not too long! ;-)

tomorrow i am totally going to do a prompt writing on that rocker chair porch picture...it's SO pretty!!

and ooh, someone's been visiting my little blog here...HI!!! :-)


 ~the end~

not today you won't

i hate when the kids are sick. i hate when i am sick at the same time! mama isn't allowed to be sick. it's not in the rulebook. the boys are easy compared to when the pinkgirly is sick. i hate that she IS sick of course. i want her to be well. i want her to go to school for the big 100th day celebration. but she's SICK! :-(


and i feel gross still. and my tooth, that the darn dentist fixed, hurts!


i hate dentists.


i just wanna be sick, all by myself!


SERIOUSLY!!!


~the end~

so...

so what was, never will be again? a quote from some movie or tv show i've watched probably. it only ever makes sense in my head. i guess it always ever will. i don't know why i try to keep making it work when the way it's going is probably just fine! let them be the way they are, and then move on to whatever else there is!!!


~the end~

wotsit

this is me, with my heart shaped rose coloured glasses. peering into the world hoping and praying that the person who peers back at me has some idea how to make me smile. how to make me happy is such a hard thing lately. it feels as though it's an ongoing issue, even more so now that i am a grown up than when i was a child.




~the end~

walkingincircles

well that was a totally strange get together. it was fine for a bit, but then suddenly it just fell apart. i felt attacked by B and i can't understand why she brought up something from so long ago. and why must she always compare everyone to SJ!! i think she's the one who has the basket of friends, with room for one only when she pushes one out onto the floor!! she sure does have enough to say to everyone else and about everyone else. but i knew this already.

and the whole "turn left" meaning "turn right"! omg. come on already!

so let's see next time if i take the time to go out of my way to pick her up. she can just meet us somewhere!!

and then S with her zingers. and then "i'm sorry" this morning...i don't want to say anything to her ever cos she bursts into freaking tears at the drop of a hat.

i just cannot be bothered with any of them. at all.

i'm wondering if i can just email D and try to meet up with HER cos we never seem to have these issues. and then they all want to go away overnight together? omg, NO, that is SO not gonna happen!


~the end~

the things we say

so what is everyone's obsession with me being nice? how come some people (okay, mostly i mean women) can say exactly what's on their minds and totally get away with it? how is it when someone says something unkind to me i keep my mouth shut and don't say what it is that i think??
why is my mil such a heartless mean spirited evil biotch?? i know the reason i don't say anything mean back to her, eventhough i deserve to tell her off repeatedly!! my mother taught me to be polite and kind to older people since they deserve our respect! and i know my mil taught her children well since they are all good people but why she is so nasty is beyond my understanding!!
~the end~

mooted rhetorically

so there it was! i wrote it all out, being kind, or at least a little kind. she just irritates me!! i haven't sent it yet.

why should i have to defend myself? why do i always have to be THE one!!

just shut up and get over it!!!

edited to add (eta) -
later:  i feel much better now. am sure i will not send it. although i might possibly send a very cleaned up version of it. i feel obliged to state my pov, but am not sure that doing so when i am upset is ever a good course of action!! no one else has really addressed her issues, it's usually me. and even S is getting fed up with it. though i'm not sure if that is all her, or my ranting/venting influence. what would i counsel myself to do???

 ~the end~

to say or not to say?

so there's all sorts of chatter about shutting down the internet. even grey's anatomy had a twitter subplot, and we all seem to enjoy passing on tidbits and facts we find online. we use it everyday, despite the viruses. some people complain that it's making less of conversation, but if anything, i feel more connected, more aware. face to face conversations might be better, but in some situations they could even be passé.

i don't understand the objections to facebook vs email. a friend insists that facebook is BAD. it's destroying her computer. yet, she's the one with dozens of apps on her facebook page, who forwards all the jokes and stupid links WITH everyone's email addresses included. goodness knows what she clicks on despite repeated warnings to NOT click on anything. you can be safe. so long as you know what's what. but she doesn't take the time to even make sense of it. she calls my helpful advice "technobabble" and then condemns us all to changing to facebook instead of emails. but WHY do we fall for her? why do we feel guilty when she's the only one of our group who's complaining? i always seem to have these foolish women in my life.

~the end~

miscellaneous nothings

so much going on, slipping thru and in my head. i can hardly keep up. the dental stuff, just evil. i won't even talk about it. since talking just evokes fear and pain and sadness. so i say nothing until the day i have to deal with it. i do detest the dentist. i know i could and should do better than this one. but i'm not sure HOW to find this perfect illusionary dental personage!!

am thinking of acupuncture again. maybe that would help. wonder who's good in the area. i wanted to snag the woman at the dentist and ask who she sees. all the alternative medical places are so expensive.

there is silence in the library again tonight!

 ~the end~

on hearts and flowers

it must not be catching me the right way this year. usually i love valentine's day. last year, the girl and i made a valentine's day banner, we started cards really early so she'd be done in time...we made red and pinks hearts to put up around the house and we talked valentine's day a lot! :-)

this year, for me, not so much!! :-(

i pulled out the handmade decorations from last year, she doesn't even remember making them!! i'll string the banner up tomorrow. there's a pile of valentines to sign sitting on the table. she's signed the ones for school. i will probably write on most of the TO names. she can do the rest. there are 19 names to write. that's a lot for anyone her age!!

i remember years ago getting all jazzed about it. making cookies with my mom, valentines for my mom and dad, my nan and aunties. it wasn't about boys and love to me back then. it's probably the same for my girl. at least for now, at her age.

it didn't become about love and romance till high school i think. and then it was the holiday i wanted to forget. and then it was fun for a bit when i had someone, and then no one and then someone again!!

tomorrow we're going to make at least a couple cards for family and friends. there's a card making set i got for her to use. the boys don't care at all. they just want a chocolate bar or a sweet. she wants the whole thing!! :-)

and me, i want a handmade card from the kids (or just her)...a bought one from hubby...and maybe a chocolate! ;-)


~the end~